a down-and-out low.

This was once a note about a note. Then, I poured myself another cup of coffee, listened to the "Dylan and the Dead" album, smoked a cigarette, went to the bathroom, and realized I had four hours before I had to leave for work. It turned into something transcendent of rational explanation.

Dedicated to my second-favorite Annual Conference kid (rivaled only to my former pastor's youngest daughter, who has been the ::only:: person in my nineteen years of knowing people who has consistently been nice, honest, and genuine, and the only one can deny me and get away with it), Sam "that's some lovely ivy!" Watson, who innocently filled out a relatively benign questionnaire that I happened to notice while checking the status of my three newest and most intense stalking projects. Filling out quizzes such as this one is not really my bag, but I decided to kill another thirty minutes revealing silly things about myself to general Facebook population.

I would like to let you know that tonight, I spent two hours not writing the proposal for my SCE, but filling out aforementioned questionnaire that, as I responded to the questions (and created {and answered} a final question that I thought was quite good), began to change my perspective on a lot aspects of my life.

I would also like to report that I accidentally clicked a bookmark in my Firefox tool bar, which directed me to my e-mail inbox (in which, ironically [or coincidentally], I had a notification from Facebook.com that I had ::just:: received a new message from this ridiculously creepy and uncomfortably flirtatious [in a "you are an awful mustache, an unnervingly small and carnival-worker-esque hand exploring two inches too far north and a cheesy wink away from getting two full cans of pepper spray aimed simultaneously at your crotch and crazy eye" kind of way, as opposed to my favorite, "Um, I think of you as more a good friend or a brother. Please stop sending me candy and calling me every night at the exact time that our eyes first found each other three months ago while I was singing at the coffee shop open mic night" way) high school friend on facebook). I frantically clicked (and squawked in a "I have smoked three metric tons of tobacco, and dontcha know, earned my Chronic Bronchitis badge for the Hardcore Bitch Scouts" fashion) "BACK!!!", but alas: the questionnaire, all of my introspective, funny, clever, sarcastic, & well written responses, as well as my innocent and naïve trust in using web clients to write any type of anything were all lost to the tragically flawed, cruel, merciless, salty, but irrefutably endearing illegitimate whelp of the love affair between the CSS style sheet and Firefox's inability to remember how much fucking time and mind power I wasted on a simple survey on this very late evening transitioning into very early tomorrow morning.

It was a shame, for neither did I realize, nor was I notified with one of the thousands of increasingly irritating (yet in this case potentially useful) irremovable "WE'VE FUCKING CHANGED SOMETHING ELSE TO MAKE IT COLORFUL AND COMPLETELY USELESS AND VIOLENTLY RAPE YOUR PRIVATE INFORMATION" bits by the Facebook Development team in my unfathomably cluttered mini-feed that there is now a "save draft" feature for Notes. I literally had one more sentence to create and then it would be off to finish a paper, and (possibly) get a nap in before working in the President's Office at 9:30am.

As with any major life-changing events, new perspectives emerge:

1. God is really enjoying this, especially after the "It's all your fault that I'm a total wreck!" lecture I gave him four days ago.
2. The whole bestselling and provocative memoir I was going to sell the Lifetime Movie Channel is total bust, as I'm sure reciting Murphy's Law written on the business side of a bank statement (reporting negative dollars in the hold and no sense in the head) shot in a poorly lit room with the .000000001 legopixel lens of the Nokia 6555EE cellular phone-video camera-instant messenger-stock ticker-24/7 right winged extremist conservative propaganda, I mean, "news" feed-media player-gameboy-television-government controlled and monitored-alarm clock-tamifuckingotchi-blogger-mind control device (now compatible with Blue Tooth-Blue Ray-Blue Balled-Technology!) would be pretty serious copyright infringement.
3. I have been deeply touched by the Divine Universe, but in a way that was totally inappropriate and made me feel really really uncomfortable.
4. My chance of college-survival exponentially decreases as I continue to write this note and not start my SCE.

Also, I have an irrational fantasy that previously noted (and the newest members of "Carly's Shit List (read: Neither Your Existence Nor Your National Sovereignty is Recognized by the United Nations or My Very Bruised Pride)" may "randomly and spontaneously" burst into a mysterious and all-consuming fire fueled only by the incessant and unadulterated whining of a girl who just wanted to go Nowhere and hang out with No One.

But I'm sure this feeling will wane when I finally come down from wherever it is I am and finally get over this whole "OMG, I totally got fucked over and I don't think WhatsHisFuck enjoys my company and I think I might be absolutely nuts and need some more Concerta" infantile train wreck of an existential discovery and go into a coma while learning about nothing about the History of Asia (is NOT, in fact, the greatest place ever) from the worst professor alive in HI 110.

So, what's new with you?

before after