welcome to the soft parade
04.17.08 It's been a while since I've updated. I kept coming to this page, trying to articulate something witty and nice to say. But honestly, there isn't a lot to write about that isn't full of drama and negativity. So I'll write again of troubles at home, money problems, and academic anxiety.
It's not that I have a difficult life. I just have a difficult time of dealing with problems. We're in the process of adjusting my medicine, so that perhaps I'll smile more often. I don't know how long it will take for me to get leveled out, but I hope it comes quickly.
Today, my Friend revealed to me this really neat Eastern school of thought. I can't remember the name, but when she gives me the books he wrote, I'll mention it to you. But basically, this Freudian contemporary told his patients: "Despite feeling sad/lazy/awful, go to work/take a shower/exercise anyway." In essence, he told them to continue with their daily lives regardless of the problems they are having. He said that Emotion is like the weather: you have no control over it, and eventually it will change. So I'm taking this philosophy to mind as I avoid writing a paper that was due on Monday. "Despite feeling hopeless, write your paper anyway." So far, this "Do it anyway" mantra that I've been thinking to myself all day has propelled me to clean my room, shower, and go grocery shopping. I think it's going to get me through the semester. I'm excited to read his books, because they might offer more "GO!" sentiments that could help me get out of this College nightmare.
I'm spending the summer on campus, working and taking a few extra classes to bolster my wallet and GPA. I'm looking forward to my Fiction class (It's a writing class, which means a lot of creativity. I hope.), as well as my Introduction to Geography course(I'm absolutely horrible at Geography, so it will be very useful). I'll be working for The Man, in the College President's Office. I'll also be working for the College Radio Station on the weekends, playing oldies and granting requests to creepy old men from B.F.E. I really am looking forward to it. My only concerns being financing on a monthly salary, and a conspicuous absence of automobile. Challenges await, but nothing I can't conquer. I'm a fighter, dontcha know.
iTunes decided to erase my entire music library for no apparent reason (other than the classic "I'm a big big bitch!" excuse, utilized by my mother on many occasions), so I'm reduced to the augmented collection on my iPod while I try to figure out how to get my tuneage back. After that, I have to go through forty-seven gigabytes of music and re-rate, reorganize, re-playlist, re-categorize, re-build my iTunes library. Obnoxious.
My friend Lisa and I go to the store on a weekly basis. She is the nicest automobile owner on campus, and drives me around all the time. Mad props, yo. After going to the grocery store, we always stop by Dunkin Donuts and get raspberry iced coffee and a glazed donut each. It's good times. I just finished my coffee, and I am quite content. I can start the evening now.
The monk bought lunch.
Despite feeling bad,
I'm going to get up and
do it anyway.
before
after