The Most Important Lesson of All

07.29.08

After a week of heavy alcohol consumption, I have developed a nightly ritual that should be submitted to the FDA. This simple method has kept me from hangovers and vomiting for three days. The first four days were ugly, but then I established The System.

One Hour Prior to Consumption
- two pieces of toast with minimal margarine
- one banana
- one glass of water
- one all-purpose multivitamin

Immediately Before Consumption
- one glass of water
- 1/4 cup roasted, unsalted soybeans

During consumption drink at least one glass of water.

Immediately Before Passing Out/Having Drunk Sex
- one glass of water

Upon waking up from your drunken stupor, make yourself (and the stranger laying next to you) a delicious breakfast. And drink a glass of water, just to be safe.

Enjoy the day, repeat as soon as possible.

before after